我 19 歲之後就沒再跟父母聯絡。他們現在定居在中國。我告訴他們我是跨性別。
我的挑戰不只這些，我是過動兒，我會不斷詢問老師問題、上課不專心等等，因此遭受到老師們的責罵。我小學轉學過 3 次、國中 3 次，所以我後來只好到中國去念國際學校，跟許多來自世界各地的同學一起相處，我積極參予校刊編輯，並且了解到其實學校就像一個小小的社會雛形，我在這當中學會人生很重要的一件事情就是「社交能力。」
我記得我在受不了的時候，我拿起刀子準備自殺，但在下手的瞬間，我反問自己： 「為什麼這是我的錯？」 我左思右想遍尋不著答案，因為我沒做錯什麼事，刹那間我意識到：「我要活下來，分享我的故事」，後來我將我的故事寄到各大 媒體，我的故事迅速地被轉貼、分享，而且我還找到了工作。
My parents and I are not really in touch anymore since I was 19 years old. They are now in China. I told them about being transgender because I thought it was normal. But after I came out, we had a tough year where they were very against me. They tried to brainwash me every single day. They even brought me to see a psychiatrist to check if anything was wrong. Of course, the doctor couldn’t see anything wrong. But my parents still couldn’t accept it.
So, I left them and came back to Taiwan. At first, we were calling each other once awhile but it was always the same conversation “Why are you like this? Why are you doing this? Are you sick?” until the moment where everybody got fed up and no one called anymore.
It wasn’t the only challenge. I had ADHD too, so I was often scolded by the teachers at school because I was asking too many questions, not paying attention like they wanted me to and they didn’t like it. I changed three times primary school and three times junior high school. It was one of the reasons why I went to study in China in an international school. And spending so much time surrounded by people from different countries, being very active in the school newspaper and understanding that school is like a small society with its government, its people, taught me one important thing that I still use today: social movement.
Today, I try as much as I can to defend my rights and to defend the rights of the ones that seem powerless. How to fight for what is right.
I know my mother reads news she can find about me. It’s a way for her to be in my life. After all, I am still her child.
I had a really hard time finding a job. Each time I sent my resume, and employers would think it’s good, they would call me and ask me “Why do you look like a woman on the picture but sound like a man?” or they would send me an email and ask me for an interview. During the interview, they would ask questions non related to work at all, such as “Are you a man or a woman?”. So I decided to directly write on my resume that I am a transgender.
What is hard for transgender, is that you usually can’t hide it and if you want to, you need to go through heavy surgeries. And because people are often judgmental, there is a sense that you can’t live in peace. At first, I tried to hide it for a long time, seeking peace but it did not work. I started to have a break down because I didn’t have anything in my life, no companion, no job, no family support, only the judgment of people. I remember my worst moment, I was holding a knife, ready to commit suicide, ready to end everything… but then, it hit me. “Why is this my fault? What did I do wrong?” I couldn’t find any answer, because it wasn’t my fault. It made me realize something: “I won’t die before I tell my story”. So I sent my story to all the media I knew, it went viral and I found a job.
But my current stable situation does not reflect the general situation of other transgenders that have a lot of hard time to find a job.
（圖片、文章來源：Humans of Taiwan 授權）
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