{"id":8743,"date":"2017-03-16T12:01:05","date_gmt":"2017-03-16T04:01:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/2017\/03\/16\/words-2\/"},"modified":"2021-06-16T13:11:48","modified_gmt":"2021-06-16T05:11:48","slug":"words-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/2017\/03\/16\/words-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u5b78\u5b78\u300c\u8a0e\u62cd\u300d\u3001\u300c\u53d6\u6696\u300d\u3001\u300c\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u300d3 \u500b\u5e38\u7528\u7db2\u8def\u6d41\u884c\u8a9e\u7684\u82f1\u6587\uff0c\u5077\u5077\u62b1\u6028\u670b\u53cb\u5427\uff01"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

\u4f60\u5e38\u5728\u81c9\u66f8\u4e0a\u300c\u8a0e\u62cd\u3001\u53d6\u6696\u3001\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u300d\u55ce\uff1f
\n\u4eca\u5929\u8981\u4ecb\u7d39\u7684\u82f1\u6587\u6d41\u884c\u8a9e\uff0c\u5c31\u662f\u793e\u7fa4\u7db2\u7ad9\u9019\u4e09\u7a2e\u6700\u60f1\u4eba\u7684\u884c\u70ba\uff01<\/p>\n

\u9019\u4e9b\u5e38\u898b\u7684\u6982\u5ff5\uff0c\u4f60\u6703\u600e\u9ebc\u7528\u82f1\u6587\u8868\u9054\u5462\uff1f<\/p>\n

1. \u8a0e\u62cd<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u6211\u597d\u53ef\u6190\uff0c\u5927\u5bb6\u5feb\u4f86\u5b89\u6170\u6211\uff01\u62b1\u62b1\u6211\uff0c\u54c4\u54c4\u6211\uff0c\u62cd\u62cd\u6211\uff0c\u544a\u8a34\u6211\u6c92\u4e8b\u6c92\u4e8b\u3002
\n\u6211\u5011\u90fd\u6703\u6709\u9700\u8981\u5b89\u6170\u7684\u6642\u5019\uff0c\u4f46\u904e\u5ea6\u5bc6\u96c6\u91cb\u51fa\u300c\u6211\u597d\u60b2\u6158\u300d\u7684\u8a0a\u606f\uff0c\u5be6\u5728\u4e0d\u6703\u7d66\u4eba\u592a\u597d\u7684\u5370\u8c61\u3002\u6d41\u884c\u8a9e\u4e2d\uff0c\u5982\u6b64\u5c0b\u6c42\u6170\u85c9\u7684\u884c\u70ba\u88ab\u7a31\u70ba\u300c\u8a0e\u62cd\u300d(pity seeking\uff0c\u5c0b\u6c42\u6190\u61ab)\u3002\u8a0e\u62cd\u7684\u4eba\u81ea\u7136\u5c31\u662f pity seeker \u4e86\u3002\u985e\u4f3c\u7684\u6982\u5ff5\u6709\u5c0b\u6c42\u95dc\u6ce8 (attention seeking)\u3002\u8a0e\u62cd\u7684\u4eba\u5e38\u5e38\u5c55\u73fe\u7684\u5c31\u662f\u81ea\u6190 (self-pity)\u3002\u4f60\u4e5f\u53ef\u4ee5\u8aaa\u8a0e\u62cd\u7684\u4eba\u5728\u300c\u958b\u8a0e\u62cd\u5927\u6703\u300d(is throwing a pity party)\u3002\u5927\u5bb6\u9069\u53ef\u800c\u6b62 (\u771f\u5fc3\u5949\u52f8)\uff01<\/p>\n

Your posts are pity-seeking and that turns girls off.
\n\u4f60PO\u6587\u5e38\u5e38\u5728\u8a0e\u62cd\uff0c\u59b9\u5b50\u770b\u4e86\u5be6\u5728\u5f88\u6d88\u706b\u3002<\/p>\n

Pity-seeking behavior goes hand in hand with self-pity, which presents a huge obstacle to happiness since you can\u2019t feel good if you\u2019re choosing to feel bad for yourself.
\n\u8a0e\u62cd\u884c\u70ba\u8207\u81ea\u6211\u53ef\u6190\u4e92\u70ba\u8868\u88e1\uff0c\u963b\u7919\u4f60\u5f97\u5230\u5e78\u798f\u5feb\u6a02\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u4f60\u65e2\u7136\u9078\u64c7\u81ea\u6211\u611f\u89ba\u4e0d\u597d\uff0c\u5c31\u7121\u6cd5\u611f\u89ba\u958b\u5fc3\u3002<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u4e0d\u904e\u5982\u679c\u9047\u5230\u771f\u7684\u9700\u8981\u95dc\u5fc3\u7684\u670b\u53cb\u6642\uff0c\u9084\u662f\u8a72\u597d\u597d\u5b89\u6170\u4e00\u4e0b\u5566\uff01\u300c\u6211\u9858\u610f\u7576\u4f60\u60f3\u54ed\u6ce3\u6642\u7684\u80a9\u8180\u300d\u9019\u53e5\u8a71\u600e\u9ebc\u8aaa\u5462\uff1f\u9ede\u5f71\u7247\u544a\u8a34\u4f60\uff1a<\/p>\n

\u3010\u82f1\u8a9e\u6280\u5de7\u3011\u5982\u4f55\u597d\u597d\u5b89\u6170\u670b\u53cb (How to make someone feel better)<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

2. \u53d6\u6696<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u53d6\u6696\u7684\u610f\u601d\u662f\u89ba\u5f97\u5916\u9762\u7684\u4e16\u754c\u5929\u5bd2\u5730\u51cd\uff0c\u5feb\u88ab\u9177\u5bd2\u7684\u4e16\u9053\u51cd\u50b7\u4e86\uff0c\u9700\u8981\u793e\u7fa4\u7db2\u7ad9\u4e0a\u670b\u53cb\u5011\u7684\u6eab\u6696\uff01\u4e00\u822c\u51b7\u5929\u53d6\u6696\u7684\u82f1\u6587\u662f get some warmth\u3002\u81f3\u65bc\u548c\u8a0e\u62cd\u5f88\u985e\u4f3c\u7684\u7db2\u8def\u53d6\u6696\uff0c\u82f1\u6587\u662f sympathy seeking\uff0c\u4e5f\u5c31\u662f\u5c0b\u6c42\u540c\u60c5\u7684\u610f\u601d\u3002<\/p>\n

Most of us feel annoyed by sympathy-seeking because it feels like manipulative attention-seeking.
\n\u6211\u5011\u5927\u591a\u8a0e\u53ad\u53d6\u6696\u884c\u70ba\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u611f\u89ba\u662f\u5728\u523b\u610f\u64cd\u4f5c\u4ee5\u5f15\u8d77\u95dc\u6ce8\u3002<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u9047\u5230\u632b\u6298\uff0c\u53ea\u6703\u8a0e\u62cd\u3001\u53d6\u6696\u662f\u65bc\u4e8b\u7121\u88dc\u7684\uff01\u4f86\u770b\u770b\u5973\u795e\u5b89\u6d77\u745f\u8587\u600e\u9ebc\u9762\u5c0d\u7db2\u8def\u9738\u51cc\uff1a<\/p>\n

\u3010\u827e\u502b\u79c0\u3011\u5b89\u6d77\u745f\u5a01\u5982\u4f55\u770b\u5f85\u81ea\u5df1\u88ab\u9738\u51cc (Anne Hathaway on Her Bullies)<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

3. \u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u660e\u660e\u6c92\u4ec0\u9ebc\u4e8b\u60c5\uff0c\u537b\u53c8\u8df3\u51fa\u4f86\u640f\u7248\u9762\u6c42\u95dc\u6ce8\u4ee5\u78ba\u4fdd\u5927\u773e\u9084\u8a18\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\uff0c\u5c31\u53eb\u505a\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u3002<\/p>\n

\u4e45\u6c92\u6d88\u606f\u7684\u85dd\u4eba\u7a81\u7136\u51fa\u73fe\u5728\u5a92\u9ad4\u4e0a\uff0c\u8b1b\u4e9b\u7121\u95dc\u7dca\u8981\u7684\u8a71\u984c\uff1b\u4e00\u9663\u5b50\u6c92\u65b0\u805e\u7684\u653f\u6cbb\u4eba\u7269\u7206\u51fa\u9a5a\u4e16\u8a00\u8ad6\uff1b\u540d\u4eba\u516c\u7136\u653e\u8a71\u8981\u8ced\u88f8\u5954\u6216\u8df3\u6d77\u2026\u2026\u90fd\u662f\u5f88\u597d\u7684\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u4f8b\u5b50\uff0c\u5237\u5237\u5237\uff0c\u8b49\u660e\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5b58\u5728\u3002\u82f1\u6587\u8b1b\u300c\u5927\u773e\u7684\u8a8d\u53ef\u300d\u6703\u7528 validation \u9019\u5b57\uff0c\u52d5\u8a5e\u662f validate\u00a0\u9ede\u9019\u908a\u807d\u767c\u97f3<\/a>\u00a0\uff0c\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u53ef\u4ee5\u8aaa validate your existence (\u8a8d\u8b49\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5b58\u5728) \u6216 prove your existence (\u8b49\u660e\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5b58\u5728)\u3002<\/p>\n

Validate your own existence.
\n\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u81ea\u5df1\u5237\u3002<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Validation \u548c approval (\u8a8d\u540c) \u9019\u5169\u500b\u5b57\u5728\u793e\u7fa4\u7db2\u8def\u6642\u4ee3\u53ef\u8aaa\u76f8\u7576\u71b1\u9580\u3002\u6709\u4e9b\u4eba\u5c0d\u81c9\u66f8\u7684\u300c\u8b9a\u300d\u6e34\u6c42\u5230\u8d70\u706b\u5165\u9b54\u7684\u7a0b\u5ea6 (addicted to Facebook likes)\uff0c\u5f77\u5f7f\u5225\u4eba\u6309\u8b9a\u5c31\u662f\u5c0d\u4f60\u5b58\u5728\u7684\u80af\u5b9a\uff0c\u8b93\u81ea\u5df1\u80fd\u611f\u89ba\u6d3b\u8457\u3002\u4e00\u4e0d\u5c0f\u5fc3\uff0c\u5f88\u5bb9\u6613\u6210\u766e\uff0c\u5982\u6b64\u7684\u75c5\u75c7\uff0c\u7a31\u70ba\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u6210\u766e (validation addiction)\u3002<\/p>\n

It\u2019s really hard for someone like me who has an attention and validation addiction to be with someone that just doesn\u2019t talk or show any signs of interest.
\n\u5c0d\u6211\u9019\u6a23\u6e34\u671b\u95dc\u6ce8\u53c8\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u6210\u766e\u7684\u4eba\u4f86\u8aaa\uff0c\u5be6\u5728\u5f88\u96e3\u8ddf\u4e0d\u8aaa\u8a71\u6216\u4e0d\u8868\u9054\u4efb\u4f55\u8208\u8da3\u7684\u4eba\u76f8\u8655\u3002<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u8cac\u4efb\u7de8\u8f2f:\u738b\u6109\u8cc0<\/p>\n

\u5ef6\u4f38\u95b1\u8b80\uff1a
\n\u3010\u5be6\u7528\u653b\u7565\u3011\u51fa\u570b\u73a9\u642d\u8a08\u7a0b\u8eca\u9700\u8981\u6703\u7684\u82f1\u6587\uff0c\u4e0d\u8981\u53ea\u6703\u8aaa\u5730\u540d\u4e86<\/a>
\n\u88ab\u53eb confidence man \u4e0d\u7528\u958b\u5fc3\uff0114 \u500b\u770b\u8d77\u4f86\u50cf\u8b9a\u7f8e\u4f46\u5176\u5be6\u5728\u7f75\u4eba\u7684\u82f1\u6587\u8a5e\u5f59<\/a>
\n\u5148\u628a\u7121\u804a\u6587\u6cd5\u66f8\u4e1f\u4e00\u908a\u5427\uff01\u5435\u67b6\u3001\u804a\u516b\u5366\u3001\u7d04\u6703\uff0c40 \u53e5\u4f60\u4e00\u5b9a\u6703\u7528\u5230\u7684\u65e5\u5e38\u82f1\u6587<\/a><\/p>\n

\uff08\u672c\u6587\u7d93\u5408\u4f5c\u5925\u4f34 VoiceTube \u6388\u6b0a\u8f49\u8f09\uff0c\u4e26\u540c\u610f VidaOrange \u7de8\u5beb\u5c0e\u8b80\u8207\u4fee\u8a02\u6a19\u984c\uff0c\u539f\u6587\u6a19\u984c\u70ba\u3008\u6bcf\u9031\u7cbe\u9078\u82f1\u6587\u6d41\u884c\u7528\u8a9e\uff1a\u8a0e\u62cd\u3001\u53d6\u6696\u3001\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f<\/a>\u3009\u3002\u5716\u7247\u4f86\u6e90\uff1a\u300a\u978b\u8c93\u528d\u5ba2\u300b\u5287\u7167\u3002\uff09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u4f60\u5e38\u5728\u81c9\u66f8\u4e0a\u300c\u8a0e\u62cd\u3001\u53d6\u6696\u3001\u5237\u5b58\u5728\u611f\u300d\u55ce\uff1f \u4eca\u5929\u8981\u4ecb\u7d39\u7684\u82f1\u6587\u6d41\u884c\u8a9e\uff0c\u5c31\u662f\u793e\u7fa4\u7db2\u7ad9\u9019\u4e09\u7a2e\u6700\u60f1\u4eba\u7684\u884c\u70ba\uff01 \u9019\u4e9b\u5e38\u898b\u7684\u6982\u5ff5\uff0c\u4f60\u6703\u600e\u9ebc\u7528\u82f1\u6587\u8868\u9054\u5462\uff1f 1. \u8a0e\u62cd \u6211\u597d\u53ef\u6190\uff0c\u5927\u5bb6\u5feb\u4f86\u5b89\u6170\u6211\uff01\u62b1\u62b1\u6211\uff0c\u54c4\u54c4\u6211\uff0c\u62cd\u62cd\u6211[…]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20,"featured_media":22661,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44],"tags":[81,350,103],"coauthors":[16284],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8743"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8743"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8743\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37484,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8743\/revisions\/37484"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22661"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8743"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8743"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8743"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=8743"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}