{"id":12183,"date":"2018-05-23T13:24:05","date_gmt":"2018-05-23T05:24:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/2018\/05\/23\/controlfreakmom\/"},"modified":"2021-10-25T11:32:06","modified_gmt":"2021-10-25T03:32:06","slug":"controlfreakmom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buzzorange.com\/vidaorange\/2018\/05\/23\/controlfreakmom\/","title":{"rendered":"\u300c\u4f60\u662f\u6211\u751f\u7684\uff0c\u70ba\u4ec0\u9ebc\u4e0d\u80fd\u7ba1\u4f60\uff1f\u300d\u7528\u5fc3\u7406\u5b78\u544a\u8a34\u4f60\uff0c\u9762\u5c0d\u300c\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\u300d\u8a72\u600e\u9ebc\u8fa6"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"mceTemp\"><\/div>\n<blockquote><p>\u3010\u70ba\u4ec0\u9ebc\u6311\u9078\u9019\u7bc7\u6587\u7ae0\u3011<\/p>\n<p>\u8a31\u591a\u4eba\u6703\u8aaa\u7236\u6bcd\u7ba1\u5b69\u5b50\u5929\u7d93\u5730\u7fa9\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\u904e\u5ea6\u5e72\u6d89\u5c31\u6703\u8b8a\u6210\u4e00\u7a2e\u4e0d\u5065\u5eb7\u7684\u300c\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\u300d\uff0c\u9019\u5c0d\u5b69\u5b50\u7684\u7ae5\u5e74\u4ee5\u53ca\u9577\u5927\u6210\u4eba\u5f8c\u7684\u8655\u4e8b\u614b\u5ea6\u90fd\u6703\u6709\u4e0d\u826f\u7684\u5f71\u97ff\u3002\u4e00\u8d77\u4f86\u7528\u5fc3\u7406\u5b78\u89d2\u5ea6\u6aa2\u8996\u81ea\u5df1\u6709\u6c92\u6709\uff0f\u662f\u4e0d\u662f\u4e00\u4f4d\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\uff0c\u4e26\u4e14\u5b78\u6703\u5982\u4f55\u61c9\u5c0d\uff0c\u6062\u5fa9\u5065\u5eb7\u7684\u89aa\u5b50\u95dc\u4fc2\u3002<\/p>\n<p>\uff08\u8cac\u4efb\u7de8\u8f2f\uff1a\u912d\u9594\u6587\uff09<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u300c\u7cfe\u7e8f\u300d\u9019\u500b\u8a5e\u900f\u8457\u4e00\u80a1\u4e3b\u52d5\u65b9\u7684\u7aae\u8ffd\u4e0d\u6368\u548c\u88ab\u52d5\u65b9\u6fc3\u6fc3\u7684\u5acc\u68c4\uff0c\u9019\u500b\u770b\u8d77\u4f86\u602a\u602a\u7684\u5b57\u773c\u600e\u9ebc\u80fd\u7528\u4f86\u5f62\u5bb9\u6bcd\u89aa\u5462\uff0c\u6bcd\u89aa\u5c0d\u5b50\u5973\u7684\u611b\u8b77\u600e\u9ebc\u80fd\u53eb\u300c\u7cfe\u7e8f\u300d\u5462\u3002<\/p>\n<p>\u4f46\u662f\u4e5f\u8a31\u4e0b\u9762\u9019\u4e9b\u8a71\u807d\u8d77\u4f86\u4e0d\u90a3\u9ebc\u602a\uff0c\u751a\u81f3\u6709\u4e9b\u719f\u6089\uff0c<\/p>\n<p>\u300c\u6211\u662f\u4f60\u5abd\uff0c\u6211\u9032\u4f60\u5c4b\u9084\u7528\u6572\u9580\uff1f\u4f60\u6709\u4ec0\u9ebc\u79d8\u5bc6\u4e0d\u80fd\u8b93\u6211\u77e5\u9053\u554a\uff1f\u300d<br \/>\n\u300c\u5abd\u72a7\u7272\u4e86\u9019\u9ebc\u591a\uff0c\u9084\u4e0d\u90fd\u662f\u70ba\u4e86\u4f60\u3002\u300d<br \/>\n\u300c\u4f60\u662f\u5abd\u5abd\u8eab\u4e0a\u6389\u4e0b\u4f86\u7684\u4e00\u584a\u8089\uff0c\u4e5f\u662f\u5abd\u5abd\u751f\u547d\u7684\u5ef6\u7e8c\u554a\u3002\u300d<\/p>\n<p>\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u89ba\u5f97\u9019\u4e9b\u8a71\u975e\u5e38\u719f\u6089\uff0c\u53ef\u80fd\u662f\u4f60\u5abd\u5abd\u5e38\u5e38\u5ff5\u53e8\u7684\uff0c\u6216\u662f\u5982\u679c\u4f60\u5df2\u7d93\u6709\u4e86\u5b50\u5973\uff0c\u4f60\u5e73\u6642\u4e5f\u812b\u53e3\u800c\u51fa\u904e\u985e\u4f3c\u7684\u8a71\u3002\u90a3\u53ef\u80fd\u4f60\u7684\u5abd\u5abd\/\u4f60\u81ea\u5df1\u5c31\u662f\u4e00\u4f4d\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\uff08enmeshed\uff09\u6bcd\u89aa\u3002<\/p>\n<h2>\u4f55\u70ba\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\uff1f<\/h2>\n<p>\u7cfe\u7e8f\uff08Enmeshed\uff09\u610f\u70ba\u9677\u5165\u3001\u88ab\u7e8f\u4f4f\u3002\u5c31\u50cf\u7121\u5b54\u4e0d\u5165\u7684\u6bcd\u611b\u7336\u5982\u4e00\u7db2\u85e4\u8513\u7e8f\u7e5e\u5728\u5b69\u5b50\u8eab\u4e0a\uff0c\u7d81\u4f4f\u56db\u80a2\uff0c\u88f9\u8457\u8170\u8eab\uff0c\u9054\u5230\u300c\u4f60\u4e2d\u6709\u6211\uff0c\u6211\u4e2d\u6709\u4f60\u300d\u7684\u5883\u754c\u3002<\/p>\n<p>\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u7684\u6bcd\u89aa\u548c\u5176\u5b50\u5973\u4e4b\u9593\u7684\u4e3b\u8981\u554f\u984c\u662f\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\uff08Enmeshment\uff09\uff0c\u9019\u4e00\u6982\u5ff5\u7531Salvador Minuchin\u9996\u5148\u63d0\u51fa\uff0c<span style=\"color: #800000;\">\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\u662f\u63cf\u8ff0\u5bb6\u5ead\u6210\u54e1\u4e4b\u9593\u908a\u754c\u6a21\u7cca\u6216\u5e7e\u4e4e\u6c92\u6709\u908a\u754c\uff0c\u5f7c\u6b64\u904e\u5206\u95dc\u5fc3\u4e14\u6295\u5165\u5c0d\u65b9\u7684\u751f\u6d3b\uff0c\u5f9e\u800c\u6291\u5236\u4e86\u500b\u9ad4\u5316\u767c\u5c55\uff08individuation\uff09\u7684\u5931\u8abf\u72c0\u614b<\/span>\u3002\u5b69\u5b50\u5929\u751f\u5c0d\u65bc\u6bcd\u89aa\u6709\u4f9d\u6200\u548c\u611b\u7684\u6e34\u6c42\uff0c\u800c\u9019\u7a2e\u6e34\u6c42\u537b\u4f7f\u6bcd\u89aa\u8ff8\u767c\u51fa\u4e00\u7a2e\u4ee4\u4eba\u7a92\u606f\u7684\u95dc\u611b\uff0c\u7531\u6b64\u4fbf\u89f8\u767c\u4e86\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\u7684\u72c0\u614b\u3002<\/p>\n<p>\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\u4e5f\u88abJohn Bradshaw\u7528\u4f86\u63cf\u8ff0\u5b69\u5b50\u8b8a\u6210\u5176\u7236\u6bcd\u4ee3\u7406\u914d\u5076\uff08surrogate spouse\uff09\u7684\u5bb6\u5ead\u95dc\u4fc2\uff0c\u4f8b\u5982\u5152\u5b50\u627f\u64d4\u4e86\u6bcd\u89aa\u7684\u4e08\u592b\u7684\u89d2\u8272\u3002<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\">\u5728\u5bb6\u5ead\u4e2d\uff0c\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\u8f03\u7236\u89aa\u4f86\u8aaa\u66f4\u70ba\u666e\u904d\uff0c\u7531\u65bc\u5973\u6027\u7368\u6709\u7684\u751f\u80b2\u80fd\u529b\uff0c\u6bcd\u89aa\u5728\u5c0d\u5f85\u5b50\u5973\u6642\u5bb9\u6613\u7522\u751f\u4e00\u7a2e\u300c\u4f60\u662f\u6211\u751f\u7684\uff0c\u6211\u9084\u7ba1\u4e0d\u4e86\u4f60\u4e86\uff1f\u300d\u7684\u60f3\u6cd5\uff0c\u56e0\u6b64\u5728\u60c5\u611f\u4e0a\u66f4\u5bb9\u6613\u548c\u5b50\u5973\u7522\u751f\u7dca\u5bc6\u7684\u806f\u7d50\u3002<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u7684\u6bcd\u89aa\u5f80\u5f80\u4e5f\u662f<span style=\"color: #800000;\">\u81ea\u6200\u7684\uff08call her a narcissist\uff09\uff0c\u5979\u5011\u628a\u5b69\u5b50\u7576\u505a\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u4e00\u90e8\u5206\uff0c\u7121\u6cd5\u63a5\u53d7\u5b69\u5b50\u662f\u53e6\u4e00\u500b\u8207\u81ea\u5df1\u5206\u96e2\u7684\u7368\u7acb\u500b\u9ad4<\/span>\u3002\u4f46\u5b69\u5b50\u4e26\u4e0d\u90fd\u9019\u9ebc\u60f3\uff0c\u81f3\u5c11\u4ed6\u5011\u4e0d\u53ea\u662f\u5abd\u5abd\u751f\u547d\u7684\u5ef6\u7e8c\uff0c\u4ed6\u61c9\u8a72\u662f\u4e00\u500b\u7368\u7acb\u7684\u500b\u9ad4\uff0c\u6709\u5065\u5eb7\u7684\u81ea\u4e3b\u6027\u3002<\/p>\n<p>\u5fc3\u7406\u6cbb\u7642\u5e2bGerri Luce\u5728\u8ac7\u53ca\u5979\u8207\u6bcd\u89aa\u4e4b\u9593\u7684\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\u6642\u5982\u6b64\u63cf\u8ff0\uff1a<\/p>\n<p>\u300c\u6211\u7684\u6bcf\u4e00\u500b\u6c7a\u5b9a\u90fd\u9700\u8981\u5979\u7684\u540c\u610f\u3002\u7576\u5979\u4e0d\u5728\u6211\u8eab\u908a\uff0c\u6216\u8005\u6211\u7121\u6cd5\u8ddf\u5979\u5546\u91cf\u6211\u6240\u505a\u7684\u5927\u5927\u5c0f\u5c0f\u7684\u6c7a\u5b9a\u6642\uff0c\u6211\u6703\u611f\u5230\u7570\u5e38\u7684\u60f6\u6050\u3002\u591a\u5e74\u4f86\uff0c\u6211\u5011\u878d\u5408\u6210\u4e00\u9ad4\uff0c\u5c31\u50cf\u4e00\u500b\u9023\u9ad4\u4eba\uff0c\u76f4\u5230\u5979\u53bb\u4e16\u3002\u300d<\/p>\n<h2>\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\u662f\u4ec0\u9ebc\u6a23\uff1f<\/h2>\n<p>\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\u7684\u4e00\u4e9b\u7279\u9ede\uff1a<\/p>\n<p>1.\u63a7\u5236\u6027\u5f37\uff0c\u5979\u8a8d\u70ba\u81ea\u5df1\u6709\u6b0a\u5229\u53bb\u5e72\u6d89\u5b69\u5b50\u751f\u6d3b\u7684\u5404\u500b\u65b9\u9762<br \/>\n2.\u628a\u5b69\u5b50\u7576\u505a\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u8ca1\u7522<br \/>\n3.\u6bcd\u89aa\u548c\u5b69\u5b50\u7684\u89d2\u8272\u662f\u53cd\u8f49\u7684\uff0c\u6bcd\u89aa\u4e0d\u65b7\u8981\u6c42\u5b69\u5b50\u53bb\u9810\u6e2c\u4e26\u6eff\u8db3\u5979\u7684\u9700\u6c42\uff0c\u5b69\u5b50\u5728\u67d0\u7a2e\u7a0b\u5ea6\u4e0a\u6210\u70ba\u990a\u80b2\u8005\uff0c\u8207\u6b64\u540c\u6642\uff0c\u5b69\u5b50\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u9700\u6c42\u88ab\u6cef\u6ec5\u4e86<br \/>\n4.\u7e3d\u662f\u66ff\u5b69\u5b50\u505a\u6c7a\u5b9a\uff0c\u537b\u672a\u66fe\u771f\u6b63\u7d66\u4e88\u6307\u5c0e<br \/>\n5.\u5979\u5011\u7684\u6700\u7d42\u6b66\u5668\u662f\uff08\u8b93\u5b69\u5b50\u7522\u751f\uff09\u6127\u759a<\/p>\n<h2>\u5982\u4f55\u77e5\u9053\u6211\u662f\u5426\u6709\uff0f\u6210\u70ba\u4e86\u4e00\u4f4d\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\uff1f<\/h2>\n<p>\u6211\u5011\u5f88\u96e3\u9a5a\u89ba\u81ea\u5df1\u662f\u5426\u6709\uff0f\u662f\u4e00\u4f4d\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u5b69\u5b50\u8207\u6bcd\u89aa\u4e4b\u9593\u7684\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\u5f80\u5f80\u5ef6\u7e8c\u4e86\u5f88\u9577\u6642\u9593\uff0c\u800c\u8eab\u5728\u5176\u4e2d\u7684\u4eba\u5f88\u96e3\u767c\u73fe\u5b83\u7684\u6a21\u5f0f\u3002<\/p>\n<p>\u53e6\u4e00\u65b9\u9762\uff0c<span style=\"color: #800000;\">\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\u5728\u8868\u9762\u4e0a\u770b\u4f86\u662f\u5f88\u7f8e\u597d\u7684\u3002\u5728\u5916\u4eba\u773c\u4e2d\uff0c\u5979\u53ef\u80fd\u5f88\u95dc\u5fc3\u5b69\u5b50\uff0c\u89aa\u5b50\u95dc\u4fc2\u770b\u8d77\u4f86\u4e5f\u975e\u5e38\u89aa\u5bc6\u3002\u53ef\u6b63\u56e0\u70ba\u770b\u4f3c\u7f8e\u597d\u7121\u5bb3\uff0c\u624d\u66f4\u4e0d\u5bb9\u6613\u767c\u73fe\u5b83\u80cc\u5f8c\u6240\u88f9\u633e\u7684\u4fb5\u7565\u6027<\/span>\u3002\u300c\u6bcd\u611b\u300d\u9019\u500b\u5049\u5927\u7684\u5b57\u773c\u7d66\u4e88\u4e86\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\u592a\u591a\u7684\u6b63\u7576\u6027\u3002<\/p>\n<p>\u5373\u4f7f\u5bdf\u89ba\u5230\u5b83\u7684\u904e\u7a0b\u53ef\u80fd\u4e5f\u662f\u7de9\u6162\u4e14\u8271\u96e3\u7684\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\uff0c\u5b83\u4f9d\u7136\u662f\u53ef\u4ee5\u88ab\u767c\u73fe\u7684\u3002\u4ee5\u4e0b\u662f\u4e00\u4e9b\u4f60\u53ef\u80fd\u8655\u5728\u95dc\u4fc2\u6df7\u6dc6\u72c0\u614b\u7684\u8de1\u8c61\uff0c\u53ef\u80fd\u6703\u5e6b\u52a9\u4f60\u5be9\u8996\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u95dc\u4fc2\uff1a<\/p>\n<p>1.\u4f60\u5c0d\u6bcd\u5b50\u95dc\u4fc2\u5168\u8eab\u5fc3\u5730\u6295\u5165\u5c0e\u81f4\u5b83\u6d88\u8017\u4f60\u5927\u91cf\u7684\u7cbe\u529b\uff0c\u5f9e\u800c\u5ffd\u7565\u4e86\u5176\u4ed6\u95dc\u4fc2\uff1b<br 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child\uff09\uff1a<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00b7\u963b\u7919\u500b\u9ad4\u7684\u81ea\u6211\u5206\u5316\u904e\u7a0b\uff1b<\/p>\n<p>\u00b7\u55aa\u5931\u7368\u7acb\u7684\u4eba\u683c\u548c\u81ea\u4e3b\u611f\uff0c\u4e0d\u80fd\u5f62\u6210\u5065\u5eb7\u7684\u8eab\u4efd\u7279\u5fb5\uff1b<\/p>\n<p>\u00b7\u81ea\u5df1\u505a\u51fa\u7684\u6c7a\u5b9a\u66f4\u591a\u51fa\u65bc\u53d6\u6085\u6bcd\u89aa\u7684\u9700\u8981\uff1b<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u9577\u5927\u5f8c\uff08child as an adult\uff09\uff1a<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u00b7\u5bb9\u6613\u5728\u8207\u4ed6\u4eba\u5efa\u7acb\u7684\u95dc\u4fc2\u4e2d\u53d7\u50b7\uff0c\u6216\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5229\u76ca\u53d7\u5230\u4fb5\u72af\uff1b<\/p>\n<p>\u00b7\u5728\u5c08\u696d\u6216\u8077\u696d\u9078\u64c7\u4e0a\u8868\u73fe\u51fa\u66f4\u591a\u7684\u512a\u67d4\u5be1\u65b7\uff0c\u6216\u66f4\u52a0\u4f9d\u8cf4\u7236\u6bcd\u4e26\u9075\u7167\u7236\u6bcd\u7684\u6c7a\u5b9a\uff1b<\/p>\n<p>\u00b7\u5df2\u5a5a\u5b50\u5973\u5728\u5a5a\u59fb\u751f\u6d3b\u4e2d\u6eff\u610f\u5ea6\u8f03\u4f4e\uff0c\u4e26\u4e14\u5728\u81ea\u5df1\u7684\u5bb6\u5ead\u4e2d\u96e3\u4ee5\u5efa\u7acb\u908a\u754c\u3002<\/p>\n<h2>\u6709\u4e00\u500b\u7cfe\u7e8f\u578b\u6bcd\u89aa\uff0c\u6211\u8a72\u600e\u9ebc\u8fa6\uff1f<\/h2>\n<p><strong>1.\u5efa\u7acb\u5bb6\u5ead\u908a\u754c\uff08set family boundaries\uff09<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u660e\u78ba\u4f60\u7684\u754c\u9650\uff08name your 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